Horrible Hal

Sunday, April 11, 2021

Horrible Hal – Audio Version

According to a well-positioned and entirely reliable informant, a popular theology instructor at a local educational institution once believed that Jesus Christ was likely to return to Earth before the end of 1988. Someone had convinced him that the re-establishment of the State of Israel in 1948 meant that Jesus could return anytime, but likely no later than 1988. When he returned, Jesus was to take the worldwide Church upward from Earth in an event called the Rapture; and that astonishing event was supposed to transpire no later than the end of 1988. Yet while that year came to pass, the expected Rapture of the Church did not. And now the year 1988 recedes further and further into the past. In retrospect, that same popular theology instructor now looks to that unfulfilled date with both chagrin and wisened dismissiveness — chagrin that he was naïve enough to believe such a silly, errant “the-end-is-nigh” prediction, and wisened dismissiveness for anyone who would again presume to promote speculative eschatology. 

Nonetheless, in spite of repeated misses, the speculators and predictors continue to predict Jesus’ imminent return. And some of them even dare set hard deadlines. Who would be foolish enough to do such a thing? Who would presume to set dates for Jesus’ second coming and promote speculative end-time predictions? If and when the end-of-the-world date-setters are proven wrong — as they invariably are — they make themselves look immensely foolish. They set up themselves and their gullible followers for public ridicule and derisive scorn. And yet one doomsday predictor after another invariably steps forward. They just keep on coming along, predictably mis-predicting that the end is near because Jesus is once again about to return. 

Okay, zany apocalyptic preacher, exactly why should we believe yet another doomsday prediction? What makes you right, unlike everyone who came before you? Is the sky actually falling this time, Reverend Chicken Little? 

Somewhat surprisingly, one of the most famous or infamous of the doomsday-predicting preachers is still active in the ecclesiastical eschatology-speculation business, after fifty-one years of date-setting miscalculations and subsequent adjustments. Yes, although he is now in his early 90s, this particular predictive preacher is still actively at it. He is considered by many to be the very epitome of repetitive eschatological error. And exactly who is this man? At the pinnacle of the heap of nefarious doomsday preachers stands a mustachioed Oklahoman named Hal Lindsey. 

Here, though, is the twist and the kicker. It is something I should perhaps hesitate to admit: I kind of like Hal Lindsey, even respect him. When he speaks about the Bible (even about portions of the Book of Revelation), what he has to say is sound — at least what I have heard. Admittedly, I have only heard and read a little, and should listen to more of what he says. But what I did hear from Hal Lindsey demonstrated real depth of insight. I would even use the descriptive word profound for the recent sermon I watched online. He did not sound like the speculative, slick villain I had been expecting. Yet many Christians have nothing good to say about Hal Lindsey whatsoever.

Let me tell you why. Back in 1970 Hal Lindsey and a co-author wrote a best-selling book entitled The Late Great Planet Earth. It ranks as the 55th best-selling book of all time. And it was on basis of The Late Great Planet Earth that many prophecy-speculators began to believe that Jesus would probably (or definitely) return by 1988. However, this particular speculation fell flat. What Hal Lindsey suggested might someday happen did not happen, and seemingly cannot happen any longer, simply because the global political scene has changed so much since the 1970s. Over the last fifty years, Lindsey has consequently needed to make some adjustments to his prophetic political scenarios. And after a while, many have tired of such adjustments. 

Yet when he speaks on the Bible, Lindsey is learned, sound, and even profound. How can that possibly be? And what does someone do with that? Someone explains why it is so. In my estimation, the main reason Lindsey has gotten Revelation wrong through the years is because he insists on reading and interpreting Revelation too literally.

If you understand his determination to interpret Revelation as literally as possible, Lindsey makes understandable interpretive mistakes. I would argue that Lindsey makes forgivable interpretive mistakes. Lindsey takes Scripture very seriously, and has been doing his best to make sense of Scripture for over fifty years. But his best-selling book made some errant speculative predictions. In the minds of many, it now stands as a massive embarrassment within Christianity. By virtue of at least one major errant speculation, Lindsey (and his interpretive scions) have given end-times eschatology a bad name.    

That all said, at least some of what Lindsey wrote needs to be given re-consideration. If you understand why Lindsey suggested that Jesus might return by 1988, it actually makes a lot of sense. No, of course, Lindsey wasn’t right about it. And history has long since disproved his speculation. But his argument makes sense, nonetheless. Based on some of Jesus’ cryptic actions and explanations, Lindsey reasonably suggested that the generation that witnesses the re-establishment of the State of Israel must be the generation that sees the return of Christ. Since Israel was re-established in 1948, and since a biblical generation is 40 years (or so Lindsey once believed), Lindsey speculated in The Late Great Planet Earth that Jesus Christ would necessarily return by the end of 1988. To be fair, Lindsey was very careful to hedge his speculation about that particular date. But others after him were not as careful. If Lindsey had been writing in a sad old commentary somewhere, his errant speculation would be just a trivial curiosity. But to date, Lindsey’s book has sold well over 15 million copies. And it has even inspired a unique apocalyptic niche in literature and film. 

Sometimes people will say that Lindsey is a false prophet. In my estimation, that is much too harsh. Lindsey is instead a slightly misguided biblical interpreter. He made and continues to make an honest effort at interpreting some very difficult sections of Scripture. By defaulting to a literal approach in interpreting symbolic prophetic material he and like-minded interpreters continue to bend the scenes from the Book of Revelation to unfolding or expected political events. Sometimes such interpretations may in fact work. Alternatively, such speculative interpretations can be (and have been) disproven by ensuing historical events.

Finally and affirmatively, I must say that I side with Lindsey more than many other Revelation scholars, insofar as I do believe that the Book of Revelation actually does predict the future. It actually does give specific details about future characters and events, and especially those in the political realm. I just believe Lindsey is too intent on defaulting to a forced literal reading of Revelation, when a figurative, symbolic reading actually yields a more coherent message.      

Without Qualification

Wednesday, June 24th, 2020

Without Qualification, Audio Version

We are very close to the apocalyptic final return of Jesus Christ. Because we are close to the return of Jesus Christ, the study of the Book of Revelation is not just somewhat pertinent, it is essential. The Book of Revelation was given for such a time as this. It was given to the Church for the purpose of discerning these days — these very days, right now. And it was given in order to help us understand how to make it through these days without losing hope or losing faith. We do well to be wise and take heed to what is written therein. The wise will pay close attention to the message of the Book of Revelation during this time.

Is the previous paragraph propeller-hatted crazy talk? Does it come across as the ranting of a fanatic fundamentalist? Does it sound like something a cult leader would say to attract the naïve and impressionable? Or is it spot-on? I will show my cards here: I believe every word of it. I believe we are living just before the return of Jesus Christ. Thus we are wise to live accordingly, and foolish to live otherwise. Matthew 25:1-13 comes to mind here.   

As I wrote the first paragraph, I gave thought to how it might be perceived. People will deem it outlandish, I thought. People will think it extreme. I imagined someone I know well shaking his head in disapproval, not necessarily because he would disagree with what I say, but because I say it so bluntly. After I wrote it, I thought about editing it extensively. Perhaps I should add lots of qualifiers, in order to sound less loony. Academics will disapprove of the lack of nuance, I realized. They will immediately think of numerous crazies throughout history who misled people with exactly this kind of apocalyptic talk. Should I qualify it somewhat? Should I nuance it?  

But I decided not to. Even knowing how it might be perceived, I decided to let it stand as is, because I actually believe every word of it. And because I do, I think it is extremely important that people hear it. The time is very near. It really is. 

But what if I’m wrong? What if the time is not near? What if the return of Christ is decades or even centuries off? Am I willing to go down as another crazy zealot predicting the end of the world? People might even call me a false prophet for saying what I say here. Am I okay with that? 

Sigh. I guess so. I’m willing to be wrong. I’m willing to be called crazy. I’m willing to be misperceived, or alternatively, rightly perceived as an apocalyptic kook. I believe what I’m saying enough to say it, even if I am wrong. 

Of course, at this point, I sorely want to launch into an explanation for why I am right and why you should believe me. But I will not do that yet. Yes, I will do it, but not yet.

Instead, I just ask you to consider everything I am saying with a dose of empathy. For a moment, try to view it hypothetically. You don’t need to believe a word I’m saying; just put yourself in the shoes of someone who truly does believe that Jesus Christ is about to come back. If you were that person, what would you do? Would you feel compelled to say something? Would you want to warn people? I would like to suggest that yes, you would.

Without doubt, you would be tempted to qualify and nuance what you say, because if you’re even a bit smart, you would realize how crazy it might come across. You would also realize that if you’re wrong, you would become a laughingstock and another case study in the history of apocalyptic crazies. But if you truly believed what you claim, you would say it all the same, because you are convinced that a lot of people need to repent, and a lot of people need to get ready to face their Maker. Love for others would compel you to run the risk of sounding crazy.

That’s me. I am that guy.     

So I am left with burden of trying to convince you and everyone who reads or listens to this that I’m not crazy. I do realize that. And I know ahead that I will not be entirely successful. A lot of people will just sign off here. Alright, thank you for your time and goodbye.

But for those of you who are still listening, I’ll just start by calling your attention to current events. The world around you is going crazy. Have you noticed? Have you noticed that we are living in especially turbulent times? In Matthew 24:8, Jesus spoke about global birth pangs. Do you recall that? These are those. When you hear the news, do you wonder, even in passing, if these might indeed be the end times, the last days? Perhaps you ought to wonder about that some more. Perhaps you should not immediately dismiss that thought, even if it feels scary. We are indeed seeing the fulfillment of many biblical prophecies, right now. There are many biblical reasons to think that Jesus might be coming back, and very soon. Most importantly, what we are seeing happen increasingly fits what Revelation symbolically prophesies, as I hope to demonstrate and convince you. When you see that, it is both astonishing and awesome.   

It all admittedly hinges on how the Book of Revelation is interpreted. Know that from the get-go. Whether I’m right or not about our proximity to Christ’s return depends entirely on my interpretation of Revelation. So I need to explain that further and in greater detail. It’s worth your time, I believe. But you have to decide for yourself. If you are interested in learning my interpretation, please continue to read or listen to this blog. 

Everything Written Here Is…

Monday, April 20th, 2020



Audio Option

Everything you read here is indubitably awesome.

Yes, that’s right. It’s undeniably, irrefutably, in-doo-buh-tah-blee AWESOME, squared. Maybe even cubed. Awesome times itself and again.

Someone sent me a text. Someone very helpfully said that my last post was slightly less than understandable. It could have been, should have been shorter. Perhaps I should get to the point quicker. Too much yada, yada. Readers might lose interest. I would not want that; would I?

Someone said that. Someone knows who he is.

I suppose. I suppose someone made a good point. And I should heed that good point.

So today I will try to keep it short and simple. How am I doing, so far?

In Revelation 11:1-14, the protagonist is the Church. The antagonist is the Beast who rises from the abyss. The Beast conquers and kills the Church in the public square; but after a few days the Church is resurrected and brought to heaven in a cloud. Again, the Beast from the abyss conquers and kills the Church; but shortly thereafter the Church is resurrected and brought to heaven in a cloud.

Some of you reading this post or the previous post will not be convinced that the Church is actually the protagonist in this chapter, so I feel the need to try and convince you. I think it’s important that I convince you, because I think we are seeing at least partial fulfillment of this passage in our day. It is happening now. The Church is being attacked. The Church is being conquered. The Church is being killed and left mute and lifeless in the public square. We are living in a day and time of intensifying attacks and persecution. It is in the news, all too frequently. Need I cite some examples? North Korea comes to mind. China comes to mind. But there are more subtle examples, too, much closer to home.

However, if you miss the multi-faceted referential symbolism of Revelation 11 (not to mention the referential symbolism of the rest of the book), you will not be able to connect the dots. You will not make the correct connections. You will not recognize that what it describes is, at least to some extent, occurring right now. It’s happening now, now, now — not later.

The key is to accept my contention that this must be understood as referential symbolism. You need to let go of the literal impulse. No, it’s not literal. It’s referential. And it’s symbolism. In this short section, the Church is depicted symbolically four or five different ways. First, the Church is the Temple of God (an Old Testament reference). Then the Church’s boundaries are expanded slightly to become the Holy City (another Old Testament reference). Then it morphs into God’s Two Witnesses (a New Testament reference), who are also Two Olive Trees, and also Two Lampstands (an Old Testament Reference). Though four or five symbols are used, the primary symbol and reference for the Church here is the Two Witnesses. These witnesses are attacked, conquered, killed, and resurrected, then exalted. That is what happens. We can expect it. It should not take us by surprise.

I tried to explain the symbolism and point out some of the references in my previous post entitled The Two Witnesses. But that post is a bit wordy, convoluted, and tires the reader. So I’ll just ask you to provisionally consider the possibility that I’m not wrong.

If I’m not wrong, it means that you should be on your toes. If I’m not wrong, it means that you should be making the most of these days, as witnesses for Christ. If I’m not wrong, it means that you should be counting the cost, because it is very costly for our brothers and sisters in Christ in many locations.

Yes, I know: scare mongers have thought the same thing for years and years, centuries and centuries. “The End is Near. The End is Near. The End is Near.” Over and over. But no, it never really was near. So why should anyone listen if I cry wolf yet again?

Quite Possibly.

Well, to start, someday someone will be right. Someday, the end actually will be near. Jesus said so. Paul said so. The Book of Revelation says so. If you take the authority of the Bible seriously, then you have to be open to the possibility that someday the end will be near. It’s gonna happen.

Beyond that, I’ll borrow a very contemporary analogy. We are facing a global pandemic. When I say that, I want you to think both of the Coronavirus and the persecution of faithful Christians. Just like the spread of the Coronavirus (which was once just a seemingly far-off epidemic), so the persecution of devout, confessing Christians is increasing worldwide. Persecution has become a global plague, an international affair. While we might not yet be at the point where persecution is coordinated and executed by a single political entity (that is, a final Antichrist or Beast from the abyss), it could come more quickly than we expect. It could foreseeably happen in the near future. Just know that intense and coordinated political persecution of Christians is already happening in many countries. The more widespread and coordinated it becomes, the closer we are to the actual end. That’s how I read Revelation 11. Please consider the possibility that I might not be wrong.